Sunday, January 15, 2012

The US Dull Pride Parade

Mitt Romney speaks French? Oh my gosh. He must be a communist or sumpin'!

I'm going to have to go through another round of "what the f*ck is wrong with you people?" and I am, again, going to be at a loss for words. It happened to me in London. It happened to me in Amsterdam. Now it will happen to me in my new home in Paris. And I expect the French will have a field day with this idiocy.

Every four years the USA stages a nationwide Dull Pride Parade where identically dressed white millionaires run around claiming to be independent-minded "men of the people". We're seeing some diversity there — Obama being the prime example — though having Michelle "Batshit Crazy" Bachmann in the presidential race doesn't exactly make the US look good (and she was doing OK at one point). Of course, having pundits agree that Huntsman doomed his campaign by stating the he accepts evolution and climate change also doesn't help the US shake its dumb and dumber image.

And then there's Rick "I'm not gay, really" Perry's ad where he attacks gays in the military and thrice-married Newt Gingrich, the man who led impeachment efforts against Clinton for alleged perjury during the Lewinsky scandal. And Gingrich still can't get his story straight about the reasons for his first divorce, And I'm not even going to cover all of the vile stuff that Santorum has said. Look it up for yourself.

So that leaves us pretty much with Mitt Romney being the only viable presidential candidate for the Republicans and the Republicans hate him. He's Mormon, he's moderate, and oh, so very plastic. If there's a "Presidential Mold" out there somewhere, Romney was poured into it. The fact that he could actually beat Obama isn't enough for the Republicans. As John McCain learned in losing the 2000 primaries against a drooling idiot — whose only major achievement was failing in every business endeavor his daddy's money bought him — the Republicans don't care for people puttin' on airs and actin' all smart 'n stuff. They also viciously despise anyone who strays from the party line.

American politics has become a battle for ideological supremacy between wimps and idiots. And the rest of the world laughs and I hang my head in embarrassment. How do I explain an anti-science, pro-ignorance culture among the religious extremists who dictate what the far-right in America is allowed to say?

And yes, I do mean "far-right". The Democrats would the be right-wing in most OECD countries and if you think Obama's a socialist you have no idea what the hell you're talking about. I don't look forward to explaining away the "socialist" comments, either, but the Dull Pride Parade is just getting underway this campaign season.


  1. It gets worse. You know what the majority of republicans said was what they most looked for in a candidate (sayeth the polls in NH, anyway)?

    They mostly want a candidate who can beat Obama.

    Sadly, I have no advice as to how you should explain this.

  2. The way I attempt to explain it goes a little something like this.

    In the 1500s-1700s, England had a bit of an awakening. They realised they were on a small island, and they caught this colonisation bug. So, who better to exile than a bunch of religious cuckoos and thieves (distinct groups). Puritans, the farthest of right-wing crazy, were loaded on boats and shipped off to Plymouth to deal with the costs of their actions. Anyone else standing up to the king (or queen) would get shipped off to crazyville, where you had to struggle for your meal, fight the natives for land/food, and otherwise lead a pretty harsh life.

    That was the seed of our culture. A pretend 'independence' from the rest of the world. We were unique! And the French, Spanish, Dutch, and Portuguese colonists never had it as bad as we did! Our society was run by fundamentalist freaks, and that set the stage for the current stage of fundamentalists who still wilfully ignore facts, figures, and reality.

    Of course, I'm actually not a history major and I will admit I don't actually know the factual nature of all of this. My knowledge of American/British history is quite limited and I am extrapolating from the stories I was told as a child. Unlike the Forcefully Ignorant class of Americans (who know nothing, but think you should see the world from their perspective), I will freely admit that I'm ignorant on this matter. But I'm crafting a story. And I don't think this story is The Absolute Truth. But maybe if I write it down in a fancy bound book and give it to people's children to read, they'll confuse it with the truth and kill people over any disagreements they have with one another. Because that's the [sarcasm] right thing to do.

  3. Look on the bright side- Bachman apart, all of the GOP candidates seem smarter than Bush, and with Huntsman & Romney there are at least two relatively unobjectionable and competent seeming candidates in the running, who appear to acknowledge that there are foreign countries apart from the ones one has to bomb... That's an improvement on last year (although even last year I was relatively reassured that the most sensible candidate won, unlike in 2000- although the less said about his choice of running mate, the better).

  4. And shades of Coluche, a comedian enters the race and adds a bit of fun to otherwise truly pathetic lineup. Colbert is running in South Carolina (sort of). See his January 14th announcement which is preceded by a very funny (and very cynical) three-way conference between him, his lawyer and Jon Stewart about how to manage his Super PAC if he runs. You can find the show on his site Colbert Nation or you can view it and an old clip of Coluche here on my blog

    I just loved Coluche's line: "Ils nous prennent pour des imb├ęciles alors votons pour un imb├ęcile !" (They are taking us for fools [the politicians] so why not vote for a fool!)